I do not understand how anyone could ever be bored. There are so many exciting things in this world to engage with. There is not enough time to do it all. I used to repeatedly remind myself that I have the rest of my life to do everything that I want. However, that “rest of my life” seems much shorter now that I am in my forties. I feel a newfound sense of urgency to make my life what I want it to be.
How do I spend my time? Do I use my time wisely? How can I optimize the time that I have?
Working from home and being a single mother to three children presents its own time dilemma. I am challenged to utilize my time efficiently – eternally seeking the perfect balance between home, work, children and me. The quest is daunting. Recently, I have not felt very successful at achieving any sort of balance. The computer is a time suck, and, at the present, I really should be hanging up laundry or working in my home office instead of here on the computer. I need to start setting limits with myself when it comes to Facebook. No more keeping it in the background while I write.
What is important to me in my life? Is my time spent a reflection of these values?
This week, my focus is on being present with my children. However, when I woke up yesterday morning, I started to feel anxious because I wasn’t going to be able to get all of my errands done (changing my name being on the top of that list and necessitating a trip to the nearest “big enough” town where there is a DMV). My eldest daughter was home sick. I considered leaving her at home, as she wasn’t too sick, and making the trip anyway. But then, I remembered my intention for the week. And here (presented to me by The Universe, thank you very much) was an opportunity to go with my intention instead of all of the “need to’s” and “should’s” running around in my head. It felt so good to stay how with her, especially since she is now in high school and there won’t be too many more opportunities for me to mother her, when she is feeling ill. I cherished every moment of getting her tea and checking on her to make sure she wasn’t feeling worse and to ask if she needed anything. Maternal bliss.
I would like to have more experiences like that. Where I am flexible and willing to adjust my schedule in order to give myself and others what is needed in the present moment. I want to be more attached to relationships and experiences than my agenda of should’s. In the meanwhile, I am going to spend some time looking at my regular daily schedule. I want to schedule in more down-time – time to read and write. I want to be more focused in my work time, so that I can maximize my energies there. I want to look at the ways in which I spend time on activities that don’t really nurture and fulfill me (like watching too much television or spending too much time on the computer) and adjust my habits.
I want to savor every moment. Is what I am doing right now in service to me and my needs and goals?
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
