From my most favorite astrologer evah! I have been loving his horoscopes for over twenty years.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): This would be an excellent time for you to do a lot less of everything. You’re entering a phase when you can actually help your long-term goals by being less ambitious. The point is not to give up your drive to succeed, but rather just put it to sleep for a while. Let it recharge. Allow it to draw energy from the deeper psychic sources that it tends to get cut off from when it’s enmeshed in the frenzy of the daily rhythm. Do you have the courage to not work so much, not try so hard, and not push so relentlessly?
I believe that this is easier said than done. I would like to say that I have the courage to do so; however, truth be told that it is very difficult for me to not try nor push. Whether this is because I am lacking in courage or simply a character flaw (glass full perspective would be that it is an asset) is unknown. Still, apparently this is what I am to do this coming week or perhaps longer.
When I take a step back and get some perspective, I have done A LOT these past four months. It has really only been four months since my ex-husband left my home. The first month was grueling, and all of my trying to make our marriage work was consuming. It was one month before I found out the truth – or at least enough of the truth to know that he had been living a lie for over half of our short marriage and to shift my focus from making the marriage work to getting out of a farce of a marriage. The second month was spent on logistics of filing for divorce, cutting ties, and getting all of his stuff out of my home and out of my life. I was so angry. The third month was spent grieving and hoping (one last time) that perhaps he really could change and be the man that he had convinced me he was when we married. The fourth month was overwhelmed by the holidays and just trying to get by and accomplish my goals in the spare time that was left to me. And, through all of that, I have started writing faithfully, made a good show of getting my house in order, continued to work and nurture friendships, single-parented three children (with all of the taxiing, meetings, lunches, and sleep-overs that entails), and dove head first into intensive self-reflection and emotional healing. Oh yeah, did I happen to mention that the holidays were sandwiched in there as well?!
I suppose that if that is not over-achieving, working hard, and pushing relentlessly, well, then I do not know what is.
It is no wonder that I have so many loose ends. Perhaps it is physically impossible to complete all that I set out to do. Perhaps there are not enough hours in the day and loose ends are an inevitability. My “ooh there’s a shiny object!” syndrome certainly does not help the matter.
So… What am I going to do this coming week(s), as I do a lot less of everything? Ever-ambitious, I am tempted to focus on how I can simplify my life and not do so much so consistently. Or at least how to focus my energy, so that I can complete that which I set out to do and do so in a realistic and non-exhausting manner. However, focusing on such goals would be continuing to work and try so hard in my never-ending quest for authenticity.
Instead, I’m going to make a cup of tea, go to bed, and read. Good night.
